One Man’s Story of Loss and Redemption

by Marc Alan Lee

My name is Guitar Marc. I had a seizure of some sort on June 26th, (We don’t know why yet, but it’s not obvious or gonna kill me in 6 months). The seizure caused me to lose any memory of the last 2-6 years. If I’m exposed to reminders, like paperwork with dates or if I see a face, I’ll know I know ’em but I can’t place the name, stuff like that. I’m also not as sharp as I was about concentrating or holding a number in my mind. All the technology in the last two years, phone, camera, digital 8-trak recorder, mp3 player, programs on laptop that are recent, I got to relearn what all the buttons do. I still remember old songs and the stuff I wrote, and the further back I go the more I remember normally.

Now here’s the God miracle stuff of the story…

I went to the ambulance without shoes or a shirt or wallet or phone or anything. My caseworker here says she called every hospital in town – there’s no record of me anywhere cause I didn’t know my name or shit. I’m finding this all out later now. So I left the hospital thinking it was 2008 or so, that I’m still a homeless drunk that smokes cigs and flies cardboard. I spent 2 wks. in a tramp camp up in north Austin till my next door neighbor saw me on the corner.

I had been missing for 15 days. He says what’s going on?… I say do I know you. He says he’s my neighbor and I think, oh the tramp camp, but he says they are slapping notices on your door. Huh, what door? On your apartment? What apartment? He says have you lost your mind?. I say, I don’t know.  He says I got to go but come see me tonight and writes down the address and phone number… it takes me 2 days to get there cause I gotta make bus fare and beer and cigs before I can start to try to get there and I keep falling asleep on the bus and waking up at the end of the route, I’m a mess, I’m wearing a hospital shirt, and shoes I got from church under the bridge, and I finally make it to my apartment complex. I’ve been living there 7 months and been gone 2 weeks…

Now here’s the GOD part – while I was out there, out of my mind, I smoked and drank like I used too.

But when I saw my apt and realized (to a small extent), who I really was; that I had over 2 years sober and I quit tobacco 7 months ago… all desire and jonesing for alcohol and cigs left me. I called upon the power of my program and said God let me continue this sober lifestyle- all the last 2 weeks. is someone else, and I’ll just let that one go… Well, It’s been a month plus — no beer, no cig, no jones …

I didn’t lose spiritual growth with my memory, thank God.

I don’t really remember the quality of my sobriety and peace in the last 3 years but I’ll bet like most, I had slacked up a bit, not drinking but maybe a dry drunk where I forget where I come from and start thinking the universe owes me something …

So I think God gave me a gratitude lesson. I mean think about it – I didn’t get seriously hurt by my 2 weeks, but to suddenly find that what you are fantasizing about (detox, sobriety, an apartment, a guitar, a laptop, … life) IS BLOODY TRUE!!!!!!!!! YOU DID THE WORK – “You just forgot…..”

SO GOD THROWS OPEN THE DOOR TO MY LIFE, “IS THIS YOURS?” HE ASKS.

I LOOK AT MY WORDS ON THE WALLS, “YES SIR, THAT’S MY STUFF…”

HE MOVES TO LET ME PASS, AS I GO BY, HE LOOKS ME DEAD IN THE EYE, “THIS IS ALL FOR YOU…DON’T F__K IT UP”

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